How to Pray for Others and Avoid Gossiping

We all know the importance of prayer, especially for those who are going through difficult times. We need to pray for each other, but we may not realize that our prayers or prayer requests can turn into gossip if we are not careful about how we share the information and what our motives are. Sometimes people ask others to pray for someone else because they want to let everyone know that the person is having a difficulty. They do this under the guise of making a prayer request. They may want to show that they have information about the situation. Gossip is not only harmful to the person we are talking about but also to our church community, to ourselves, and to our relationship with God.

 

Gossip is defined as "idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others". It can also be "a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others". 

Gossip can take many forms, such as:

 

- Sharing details that are not necessary or relevant for prayer

- Sharing details that are confidential or sensitive

- Sharing details that are negative or judgmental

- Sharing details that are exaggerated or distorted

- Sharing details that are motivated by pride, envy, anger, or malice

 

Gossip can hurt the person we are talking about, by:

 

- Damaging their reputation or character

- Exposing their weaknesses or faults

- Invading their privacy or dignity

- Causing them embarrassment or shame

- Spreading false or misleading information

 

Gossip can also hurt ourselves and our relationship with God, by:

 

- Wasting our time and energy on trivial matters

- Distracting us from our own issues and responsibilities

- Corrupting our hearts and minds with negativity and sin

- Breaking trust and unity with others

- Disobeying God's commandments and displeasing Him

 

So how can we pray for others without gossiping? Here are some tips to help us:

 

- Check our motives. Before we share anything, we should ask ourselves: Why do I want to share this? Is it to help the person in need, or to satisfy my curiosity, show off my knowledge, or vent my feelings? Is it to glorify God, or to gratify myself?

- Respect confidentiality. If someone has confided in us, we should respect their trust and privacy. We should not reveal anything that they have not given us permission to share. We should also avoid asking for more details than what they are willing to share.

- Be selective. We should not share everything with everyone. We should choose wisely who we share with, and how much we share. We should only share with those who are mature, trustworthy, and compassionate. We should also limit the number of people we share with, to avoid spreading the information too widely.

- Be positive. We should focus on the positive aspects of the person and the situation, rather than the negative ones. We should emphasize their strengths and virtues, rather than their weaknesses and faults. We should also express hope and faith in God's power and grace, rather than doubt and despair.

- Be accurate. We should be careful not to exaggerate or distort the facts. We should stick to what we know for sure and avoid speculating or assuming. We should also correct any misinformation or misunderstanding that we may encounter.

- Be respectful. We should treat the person and the situation with respect and dignity. We should not mock, ridicule, or criticize them. We should also avoid using harsh or hurtful words, such as "stupid", "crazy", or "sinful".

- Be loving. We should pray for others with love and compassion. We should empathize with their feelings and needs, rather than judge them or condemn them. We should also pray for their good and their salvation, rather than their harm or their punishment.

 

The Bible warns us about the dangers of gossip and urges us to control our tongues and purify our hearts. James 3:5-6 says: "Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider how a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

 Follow the Example Set by Jesus

The Bible also gives us examples of how to pray for others without gossiping. Job is an excellent example of how callous we can be as Christians when others are in pain and suffering. His friends accused him of being sinful and wicked, instead of comforting him and supporting him. Job 16:2 says: "I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you."

 

On the other hand, Jesus is the perfect example of how loving and compassionate we can be as Christians when others are in need. He prayed for his enemies, his disciples, and his followers. He also taught us how to pray for others in Matthew 6:9-13: "This, then, is how you should pray:

 

Our Father in Heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

 For the kingdom, the power, 

and the glory are yours

 now and forever. 

Amen."

Let us follow the example of Jesus and pray for others without gossiping. Let us remember that what we do not want for ourselves, we should not do to others. Let us also remember that God is watching and listening to everything we say and do. Proverbs 15:3 says: "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good."

 

May God help us to control our tongues and purge our hearts. May He help us to show love and kindness to everyone.  May He bless us as we pray for others in His name. Amen.

How to Become a Person of Excellence Following Christ

 Why should Christians operate in excellence?

As Christians, we are called to follow the example of Christ in everything we do and with everyone with whom we interact. This means that we should not be satisfied with just doing the bare minimum for tasks that we undertake, but rather seek to do them with excellence. Excellence is not about being perfect or flawless, but about doing our best with the gifts and abilities that God has given us. It is also about having a positive attitude and mindset, a willingness to learn, to improve, and to cultivate a desire to honor God and serve others.

 

We seek to have the best interaction possible with each person that crosses our path. Every person is created in the image of God and has inherent value and dignity. Every person is a potential friend, ally, or disciple. Every person has an opportunity to show the love and grace of God. Every person is a reflection of ourselves and how we treat them reveals our character and maturity. Christ has set an example for us in how he interacted with people from different backgrounds, cultures, and situations. He was compassionate, respectful, humble, honest, wise, and courageous. He was not afraid to challenge the status quo, confront injustice, or speak the truth in love. He was not influenced by the opinions of others but by the will of his Father. He was not motivated by selfish ambition but by selfless service.

In the bible, there is a story that illustrates why we should do our best. It is the parable of the talents, found in Matthew 25:14-30. In this story, a master entrusts his servants with different amounts of money (talents), according to their abilities. One was given five, another two, and the third was given one. He then goes away for a long time and expects them to use the money wisely and productively. When he returns, he rewards the two servants who multiplied their talents but punishes the third one who buried his talent in the ground. This parable teaches us that God has given each of us different gifts and opportunities, and He expects us to use them for His glory and the benefit of others. We should not be lazy or fearful, but faithful and diligent. We should not hide our light under a basket, but let it shine before men. We should not bury our talents but invest them in God's kingdom.

 

What are some of the characteristics that we need to develop and operate by in our daily lives to operate in excellence in all areas of our lives? Here are some suggestions based on biblical principles:

 

- Integrity: Proverbs 10:9 says, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out." Integrity means being honest, trustworthy, and consistent in what we say and do. It means keeping our promises, honoring our commitments, and being accountable for our actions. It does not matter how insignificant or unimportant a task or activity may seem to you, to someone else it may be a lifeline. An example of a lack of integrity is telling someone that you are traveling to meet you are only 5 minutes away when you are really 10 minutes away. Integrity means being faithful to God. If we believe that He is all-knowing then we know that He knows everything that we say and do as written by David in Psalm 139:1-6.

- Diligence: Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Diligence means working hard, being productive, having the mindset to be successful, and doing things well. It means being focused, organized, and disciplined. It means being proactive, creative, and resourceful. It means being faithful to God and responsible to others. When you develop and practice this attitude you won’t need to have anyone micromanaging you as you will hold yourself accountable to God and to yourself first. If your lunch break ends at 2 pm practice to be back at least 5 minutes before, not right on time, or 5 minutes after.

- Excellence: Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  Excellence means having high standards, pursuing quality, and striving for improvement. It means being positive, optimistic, and enthusiastic. It means being grateful, generous, and gracious. It means being faithful to God and respectful to others.

 

As a Christian, operating in excellence is important because it glorifies God and reflects His character. It edifies others and builds His kingdom. Because it fulfills our purpose and expresses our worship.

 

How can we develop and apply these habits daily to everything we do and with everyone we interact with? Here are some practical steps:

 

- Start with prayer: Ask God to help you live according to his will and his ways. Ask Him to give you wisdom, strength, and grace for each day. Ask him to show you areas where you need to grow and change.

- Plan your day: Set realistic goals and priorities for each day. Make it your practice to write a daily “things to do list”, review it regularly, and cross out tasks as soon as you have completed them. Allocate your time and resources wisely. Consistently doing the bare minimum (satisficing) to get by will not make you a person of excellence. Avoid distractions and procrastination.

- Always do your best: Whatever task or challenge you face, do it with all your heart as unto the Lord. Don't settle for mediocrity or complacency.  Seek feedback and improvement. Learn from your mistakes and failures.

- Be flexible: Be open to new opportunities and challenges. Be adaptable to changing circumstances and situations. Be willing to learn new skills and acquire new knowledge. Be ready to face the unexpected and the unknown.

- Be humble: Recognize your limitations and weaknesses. Acknowledge your dependence on God and your need for his grace. Seek his guidance and direction. Submit to his authority and sovereignty.

- Be respectful: Treat everyone with dignity and kindness. Listen attentively and empathetically. Speak politely and constructively. Act courteously and considerately.

- Be helpful: Look for ways to serve others and meet their needs. Offer your assistance and support. Share your resources and gifts. Encourage others with your words and actions.

- Be thankful: Appreciate what God has done for you and what he has given you. Express your gratitude to him daily through prayer and praise. Show your appreciation to others through words and deeds.

 

How can we identify our areas of weakness and work on them consistently until we have improved in those areas? Here are some suggestions:

 

-Develop and embrace an attitude of learning continually. Each time you come across something new find out about it. Be hungry for knowledge and seek answers. For example, if you see or hear a word you do not know, find out the meaning of it. The next time you hear it you will know what it means. You can then explain it if someone asks.

- Seek feedback: Ask others for their honest and constructive opinions about your performance and behavior. Listen to their suggestions and criticisms without being defensive or offended. Learn from their perspectives and experiences.

- Seek mentors: Find someone who has the skills, knowledge, or character that you want to develop or improve. Ask them to guide you, teach you, or coach you. Follow their advice and example. Learn from their successes and failures.

- Seek resources: Find books, articles, podcasts, videos, courses, or workshops that can help you learn more about your areas of improvement. Read, watch, listen, or attend them regularly. Apply what you learn to your daily life.

- Seek accountability: Find a friend, colleague, or partner who can help you stay on track with your goals and plans. Share your progress and challenges with them regularly. Ask them to remind, motivate, or correct you when needed. Most importantly, be your own accountability watchdog.

 

Conclusion

Can making these improvements in the way we operate and live our lives be a powerful witness to others about who Jesus is and how allowing Him to influence our lives can change us for the better? Absolutely! By living in excellence, we can demonstrate the reality and relevance of the gospel to others. We can show them that following Christ is not weird, boring, or burdensome, but joyful and fulfilling. We can demonstrate to them that Christianity is a way that affects every facet of our existence. We can show them that being a Christian is not about being perfect or superior, but about being transformed and empowered by God's grace. We can show them that God loves them, has a plan for them, and can make their lives better.

 

As  Christians, we have special roles to play in the world. We are not just followers of Christ, but we are His ambassadors or representatives. Our actions and words should show His love, grace, and truth to others. We should strive to do everything with excellence, as a way of honoring God and serving His purposes. Let us therefore strive to become people of excellence following Christ, for his glory and for our good.