How Do We Start Over After A Major Disappointment?

 

Starting over after a major disappointment such as a divorce, or the loss of a job, can be a challenging and emotionally draining process. Have you ever had to start over? I have had to restart after a divorce, and it was not an easy process. Learning to love and trust again was a process and it took time. We live our lives based on our religious beliefs and we tend to think that with Jesus we will overcome the challenges but when our relationship fails, or we lose our job it causes us to question our beliefs. I found that even though I questioned my faith wondering why, why did the Lord do this or allow this to happen to me, how come I could not salvage my relationship or save my job?  

 

After a couple days of soul searching the Holy Ghost began to encourage my heart and my mind and I began to draw strength from my faith in Christ Jesus and relying on His mercies. Gradually God began to provide comfort, guidance, and renewed hope. His words began to refresh my heart and mind. Isaiah 43: 18-19 states, “Remember ye, not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”  Just as the Lord encouraged me, I am sure He will also encourage you.

 

Starting over requires applying the principles taught to us by Christ and the knowledge acquired by our education and experience. First, we must acknowledge our feelings. Psalm 34:18 states, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Allow yourself to feel the disappointment and grieve the loss or failure. It's essential to acknowledge and process your emotions to begin the healing process. Secondly, we need to seek God’s Guidance and Wisdom as stated in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." We should also spend time in prayer, seeking God’s guidance, wisdom, and direction for our lives. Ask Him to reveal His plan and purpose for you, even during your healing process.

 

Thirdly, it is very important that we forgive and release resentment. Ephesians 4:31-32 states, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Forgiveness is crucial for healing and moving forward. This includes forgiving others who may have contributed to the disappointment and forgiving yourself for any perceived failures or mistakes. Fourthly we should learn from our mistakes and failures and embrace a renewed mindset. Romans 12:2 tells us, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Focus on renewing your mind with positive and faith-filled thoughts. Replace negative and defeating thoughts with the truth of God’s Word and His promises for your life.

 

Fifthly, we should take practical steps forward guided by Philippians 3:13-14, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Set achievable goals and take practical steps to move forward. This may include seeking new opportunities, learning from the experience, and trusting God to guide you in the right direction. We must surround ourselves with a supportive community. We are encouraged by Hebrews 10:24-25, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the day approaching."  A supportive community of friends, family, and fellow believers can encourage, uplift, and pray for you during those times.

 

As we continue to trust in God’s unfailing love and promises, meditate on Lamentations 3:22-23, "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Remember that God’s mercies are new every day, and His love is unfailing. Trust in His promises and have faith that He will work all things together for your good and His glory.